I have these tattooed on my arms for god's sake. How could I let such things as emotions hold me under the water long enough that I forget what it's like to breathe air.

For those that don't know, Memento Mori roughly translates to "remember you will die" and Amor Fati to "the love of faith or whatever happens".

The chains are from the game Bioshock and they're meant to signify not to be a victim to your own thoughts, the game's protagonist was essentially mind controlled.

Stoicism, meditation and intention are what will get me through in the end.

My brain battered at me to have the first post be called #1, since its the start of the journey. However three days ago I was on the beach looking out and feeling down and depressed and I wanted to die. I've been having suicidal thoughts on and off and it's been happening for years. So while looking out at the ocean I realised that I have two options: Fight or Die.

I can lie down and cry and slowly deteriorate into a nothingness and die or get up, look around and start building myself up. Now I've been down this road many a time with self help books and motivational clips and I do get by for a few weeks or months. Now however its different, now it's personal and a motto that I will live by. Fight or Die.